tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69589822011-04-21T19:33:51.317-07:00Home to a million lighters but not a single pen...unless Sharpies count.Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.comBlogger2621100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-84076567333561946002007-06-02T09:14:00.000-07:002007-06-02T09:33:37.842-07:00

I'm trying to get ahold of my Aunt, who lives in San Francisco. It's been probably 8 or 9 years since I've been in contact with her, and I've decided that's long enough. I know she used to read one of my blogs, not sure which one, so I'm guessing it's a possibility she'd drop back by sometime to check up on me and my goings-on. So, to her: If you do read this, please get ahold of me. My e-mail

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-20031002792924676222007-05-30T04:13:00.000-07:002007-05-30T04:17:47.912-07:00

In case you want more clear-cut picture of the girl that existed within me a couple of years ago...the link is in the title of this post.

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-39832637973560572312007-05-27T08:29:00.001-07:002007-05-27T08:56:45.413-07:00

and am, in fact, alive and well, though I am conflicted over whether or not I should smoke my last cigarette now, as I approach slumber (I work overnight shift, so sleep during the day), or when I wake up - I tend to be a bit of a mega-bitch to those around me, especially myself, when deprived of my morning nicotine. Ahh, hell, I just lit it - guess the decision has been made.I'm currently

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1162665976291115462006-11-04T10:44:00.000-08:002006-11-04T10:46:16.726-08:00

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1141157322512296252006-02-28T12:02:00.000-08:002006-02-28T12:57:05.970-08:00

I noticed today that it's been about 5 weeks since I've blogged here. Blame it on a month of my brain being completely dead. My mind is finally functioning at a normal level once again, and in the last few days I've finished reading three books that I had set down for far too long - A Natural History of Love; Tropic of Capricorn; and Resurrection. Now I'm reading Dead Souls by Gogol.What else?

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1141155475925697812006-02-28T11:37:00.000-08:002006-02-28T11:37:56.130-08:00

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1141154882953742692006-02-28T11:27:00.000-08:002006-02-28T11:28:03.253-08:00

Disillusion (E.A. Baratynsky)I pray you, do not idly tempt me,rekindling passion's former blaze;one now disillusioned, empty,is deaf to wiles of former days.I have no faith in protestations,I have no faith in love at all,no more can I accept her thrall,her treacherous hallucinations!Do not provide fresh cause to weep;of former bliss, I pray, no murmer,and, friend solicitous, show firmerpurpose in

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1137923940198908432006-01-22T01:37:00.000-08:002006-01-22T01:59:00.536-08:00

So I got that out of my system - the craving for solitude; the inability to read, write, or think clearly; not knowing who I am anymore; and all of the other junk I wrote about in my last post. Now, I'm just here, existing, and happy to be doing so.Tonight at work I rediscovered my dear friend, Vodka, who I abandoned (unintentionally) a month or so ago. I kind of stopped (or, at the very least,

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1137554175748412782006-01-17T19:09:00.000-08:002006-01-17T19:16:16.046-08:00

There is so much that has changed about me in the last few months, and I am not sure that all of it is good. I used to write. A lot. I used to read. A lot. I used to find strange things to do, alone, by myself, on a daily basis. I used to have a lot of fellow blogger friends, and now I have somehow dropped off of the radar for no reason at all. My values have changed, but in strange ways. I'm not

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1136406906999439482006-01-04T12:32:00.000-08:002006-01-04T12:35:07.306-08:00

Yeah, I watched a movie last night called Dark City, and that was a quote from it that stood out in my head. So, I thought I'd title a post with it. For no particular reason, other than that I felt like it.This is less of a post, more of a memo to myself. Last night when we were rewatching The Butterfly Effect, I said to Liam "It's amazing how many lives I've begun and ended just to have this one

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1136267920074415682006-01-02T21:36:00.000-08:002006-01-02T21:58:40.433-08:00

but an okay day, nonetheless. I had to work day shift; even after three years, it still seems odd going into a strip club at 3pm, especially when I don't usually get up until 2:00 (or, in today's case, 1:00). Work was exactly the same as it always is, except deader than usual. Which is to say, there was really no one there at all. So I sat at the bar drinking screwdriver's and reading Tolstoy.

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1136174962476746002006-01-01T19:44:00.000-08:002006-01-01T20:19:27.586-08:00

I've entered the world of monogamy, happily and voluntarily, and it has been wonderful. I always said that I didn't believe in such a thing, but for me, it's the only thing that makes sense right now. I was in a different place before, a place where there was no love, at a time when I wasn't even sure that love was something that could even exist, or be defined. Now I've found the very thing that

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1136165683031044522006-01-01T17:32:00.000-08:002006-01-01T17:34:43.296-08:00

could possibly be better than lying on the couch on top of my overgrown skater boy listening to Jane's Addiction. I never thought it would take someone 6.5 years older than me to make me feel young again, when I've felt far too old for as long as I can remember.

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1136162175768503532006-01-01T16:35:00.000-08:002006-01-01T20:17:24.370-08:00

So last night was pretty great, even though we didn't really do much. We were supposed to go to a party Liam's friend was having, but 1) The cops had roadblocks everywhere for sobriety checks, 2) The buggy bug has been acting funny and has a broken tail light, and 3) Drinking at home sounded a lot funner than drinking elsewhere and having to navigate our way across the city with the circumstances

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1136074991878106422005-12-31T15:47:00.000-08:002005-12-31T16:23:11.936-08:00

I have spent the last few days of the year revisiting all of the different blogs I have kept in the past, beginning in May of 2004. I decided that, rather than start a new one again, as I've done far too many times (I can think of 6 or 7 that I've had, all of which ended up tainted somehow - no longer my sanctuaries, but rather, my prison cells), I would just start posting again on the one I

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1102423031819350532004-12-07T04:37:00.000-08:002004-12-07T04:37:11.820-08:00

Today we pick up all the paperwork we need, and tomorrow we file for divorce. Billy will be moving out as soon as he can manage, probably around January 1st. I am going to be keeping custody of Liam, which may be difficult since I have neither a driver's license nor a car (since I don't drive, I'm obviously letting Billy take the car). Carless with a baby - is that even possible? Liam is

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com39tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1100855832678608262004-11-19T00:47:00.000-08:002004-11-19T01:17:12.676-08:00

I had to spend a about a day and a half in the psychiatric ward. Excuse me, the "Affective Disorders" ward. I went in to get help for my eating problem (I can't say eating disorder, it makes it too real). And they wouldn't talk about it at all. They wanted to focus on everything else. Basically, I was told that my failure and refusal to eat is not anorexia, but is in fact just a side affect of my

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1099499062784080652004-11-03T08:20:00.000-08:002004-11-03T08:24:22.783-08:00

Dammit! Four more fucking years? Wish there was an easy way to leave this country... The thing that amazes me is that, people REALLY must think Bush is fit to be President...and that's a terrifying thought, to me. If I live in a nation of people who truly believe these backwards policies are for the good, then I guess I really have no hope. Whatever...I am so didillusioned now. I actually saw

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1099372565767277052004-11-01T21:15:00.000-08:002004-11-01T21:17:06.093-08:00

When the people vote on war, nobody reckons On his own death; it is too soon; he thinks Some other man will meet that wretched fate. But if death faced him when he cast his vote, Hellas would never perish from battle-madness. And yet we men all know which of two words Is better, and can weigh the good and bad They bring; how much better is peace than war! First and foremost, the Muses love her

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1097386767603921522004-10-09T22:38:00.000-07:002004-10-09T22:41:43.713-07:00

I'm sure you all know how irked I can get, especially when I feel like people are being passive-aggressive and directing their words at me. I am taking an online Composition class, and of course my classmates are already getting on my last nerve. We had an assignment the other day regarding what we consider to be myths about writing. We were each to write about two things that we believe are

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1096894214453620372004-10-04T05:50:00.000-07:002004-10-04T05:50:14.453-07:00

Wow, it's been awhile. Classes start today, and my fear of failure has kicked in, full force. I know I have no reason to worry - I have always gotten excellent grades, and acadamia is the one thing I feel pretty confident in my ability to succeed. But it has been years since I got out of high school - I got my GED back in 1998. And, I have dropped out of college twice, both times within the first

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095958072915005462004-09-23T09:43:00.000-07:002004-09-23T09:47:52.916-07:00

I have this huge craving for these weird hot dogs I used to eat as a kid. They were called, I think, Frankenstuffs. Inside of them was a sort of chili. They were SO good. I can only assume they have been discontinued. My favorite beverage at the time was New York Seltzer. Does anyone remember these? They have been out of production for years. And my favorite candy at that time in my life was

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095923254839484262004-09-23T00:07:00.001-07:002004-09-23T00:13:18.496-07:00

Guy came in tonight...he lives in the Caymen Islands but will be here for awhile on business. As a "gift", he gave me a dollar from Caymen Islands. Told me to keep it as a souvenier...I scanned it into my PC when I got home, so here you go, if you've never seen one...seems like they use the same paper as US dollars.

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095871535273151862004-09-22T09:44:00.000-07:002004-09-22T09:45:35.273-07:00

The guy, after getting everything all hooked up, made himself at home on our couch and proceeded to sit back and watch Star Trek for literally 20 minutes! Finally, Billy sort of prompted him to, well, go the fuck away! I don't think the guy even realized how long he'd been sitting there. Earlier this year, I had a cable guy who stayed for an hour and a half. Strange people.

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095860466870207672004-09-22T06:40:00.000-07:002004-09-22T06:41:06.870-07:00

I was watching Full Metal Jacket again last night, and I got a weird feeling. I know that the movie is meant to unsettle you. But that is not the effect it had on me. It made me homesick. I began thinking about the military, particularly the Army, which I was in for a very short total of 6 months before I went AWOL. I never made it to my unit. I began at Basic training at Fort Leonard Wood,

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095785942907331592004-09-21T09:58:00.000-07:002004-09-21T09:59:02.906-07:00

Just got a visit at my apartment from some gals about my age, trying to spread the word of the Mormon Church to me. These people just won't take no for an answer. I quickly sent them on their way, but told them, "You girls have a great day!" which completely threw them off. I guess they don't hear it very much. I can see why. They are knocking and knocking and knocking at the doors of everyone

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095746481805454592004-09-20T23:53:00.000-07:002004-09-20T23:02:59.186-07:00

Have been talking to a guy lately who, I just found out Saturday night, happens to know KC, who was my first love, and who took my virginity. KC was perhaps the nicest person I have ever known. Sweet, caring, honest, virtuous, and faithful to every girl he ever dated. He was a very loyal friend even after we broke up. He picked me up at the airport after I went AWOl and gave me a place to stay

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095743311719905242004-09-20T22:36:00.000-07:002004-09-20T23:02:27.300-07:00

When I was 13 my mom and I moved to Chicago. When I was 14, I ended up leaving again. I went to live with my father in North Dakota. Here's what led up to it all... Before Chicago, life was great. My mom made quite a bit of money at Square D, a factory she worked at for 16 years, making circuit breakers. We lived in a nice apartment. She had credit cards. I had a lot of friends. Life was good.

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095742771262823022004-09-20T21:59:00.000-07:002004-09-20T21:59:31.263-07:00

Wow, I was an idiot at age 12. I'd been drinking for a couple of years, smoking for a couple of years, had just started smoking pot (on Easter of 1994, at my best friend's house, with her older sister, who was 18), and was even considering having sex. My elementary school hadn't been the best...a lot of kids from homes of abuse and neglect...a lot of poor families...none of us had very good role

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095741132807902182004-09-20T21:32:00.000-07:002004-09-20T21:32:12.806-07:00

So, the below post (about my mom) was my first involvement with police. Here is my second: My brother (11 years older than me) was driving my mother to this bar called the Grove to meet her boyfriend. My mother didn't yet have a driver's license (I think she was 38 when she finally got one...well, I'm 23 and don't have one yet...don't want one, either). I was riding along in the backseat. Julian

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095740398989636022004-09-20T21:19:00.000-07:002004-09-20T21:19:58.990-07:00

I was 6 years old. In the morning, my mother and I were going to go downtown to the Star City Parade. I woke up in the middle of the night, and thought it was later than it was. I was so anxious for the parade, and assumed that it was already early morning, and that the sun would be rising soon. My parents were already divorced, and my brother had moved out, so I lived with my mother only. Our

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095739217157616902004-09-20T20:47:00.000-07:002004-09-20T21:00:17.156-07:00

On Saturday, Billy was at Rent A Center getting some stuff ordered. He had Liam there with him. We got a stereo system with surround sound, a VCR-DVD combo, and a 32" tv. All of these are things we have previously lost over the years, due to finances, leading up to our daughters moving to New Jersey. Anyway, Billy didn't want to have to wait until today to have the stuff delivered. They said he

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095679380632352602004-09-20T04:13:00.000-07:002004-09-20T04:51:13.350-07:00

Anonymous said... ...Noticing that only an outsider from the sex industry has the balls enough to let her know that she is a joke! If she thought she was so beautiful she wouldn't be subjecting herself to societies morals of being beautiful by having plastic surgery. What a fake. I am confused by this. I think I may have interpreted it wrong. I assumed they were calling Dacia an outsider, since

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095678362315182022004-09-20T04:02:00.000-07:002004-09-20T04:07:06.256-07:00

to this anonymous commenter...you said I am a "fake." Can you explain exactly how it is that I am a "fake"? Cause I feel pretty real. And I have been incredibly honest about a lot of things that most people would have kept to themselves. I would just like to hear more on this... And as a common courtesy, please sign your name when you post, whether you are commenting anonymously or not. I have

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095673375165663882004-09-20T03:38:00.000-07:002004-09-20T04:48:22.523-07:00

Okay, someone is seriously offended by my job (see comments in below post). I'm sorry you don't like it. I choose to do it. I think we both understand that it is the job I choose to do and will continue to do probably for awhile. Yes, I have talked about my job quite a bit. The reason is because it is the only time I spend out amongst people other than my husband and child. I have kept myself

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095334959976599182004-09-16T04:43:00.000-07:002004-09-16T04:42:39.976-07:00

Derek said: moving.. ok, but think outside the box. you don't want to have to strip all through your 20's. I said: Why, Derek? Is there something wrong with stripping? I enjoy my job. I don't *have* to strip, I *choose* to strip. Why not make as much money as I can with it while I am still young enough to do so? I came back to dancing because I missed it. I want to get back into North Carolina

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1095206412669838962004-09-14T17:04:00.000-07:002004-09-14T17:42:27.400-07:00

Haven't been blogging much, because I haven't been thinking much. I know that sounds horrible, but it's the damned truth. As much as I am trying to seperate "work" from "life", it is very difficult to transition from bar life to, well, just life. It is as if my mental abilities have failed me - I have a constant headache due to the cigarette smoke, perfume, etc. that permeates my nostrils when I

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1094621897810956382004-09-07T22:36:00.000-07:002004-09-07T22:38:17.810-07:00

Work was nice today, actually. There were only three of us, me, V and J. It was SO great to get to work with J after not seeing each other for so many years. The second guy I ever slept with, R, when I was 16, used to date her (before I ever went out with him) - and they are seeing each other again, so that's cool. It's nice to keep track of old friends and what they are doing. P moved back to

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1094495075594613992004-09-06T11:52:00.000-07:002004-09-06T11:25:13.626-07:00

I used to use people's full first names, sometimes even their last names, when talking about them. Now, because I work and will probably tell stories from work now and again, I am only going to use their first initial, so as to protect the privacy of all parties involved...just because I am honest to a fault about my life, doesn't mean these people want their business broadcasted. So from now on,

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1094494752182986382004-09-06T11:16:00.000-07:002004-09-06T11:19:12.183-07:00

Hey Billy... ...the Jerry Lewis Telethon is on...one of these days you'll have to post your story about it...quite funny! I absolutely love all of your stories from your childhood/adolescence (emergency breakthrough, etc...hilarious! but you were seriously a wacked out kid).

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1094460355509343082004-09-06T01:43:00.000-07:002004-09-06T01:45:55.510-07:00

My brother was in this band for awhile when he lived in Seattle: Steel Pole Bathtub

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1094455945294236252004-09-06T00:26:00.000-07:002004-09-06T01:01:58.446-07:00

about a time when we didn't ask questions, just lived life...about a time when we looked to the future as something we would see together, experience together...about old friends and where we were supposed to end up. The other night at the club, I ran into an old friend. J. was a friend of mine back in 1999. She was the first dancer I was ever friends with. I met her at the Coffee House; the

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1094438588208449492004-09-05T19:41:00.000-07:002004-09-05T19:43:08.206-07:00

Since Billy (my husband for all you newbies who don't know that) is discontinuing his own blog, I've invited him to come on over to mine and be a contributer...so if he feels like posting, he can, and at least someone will read it. So, look forward to him posting here every once in awhile...

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1094435481526877622004-09-05T18:51:00.000-07:002004-09-05T18:51:21.526-07:00

of my customers...and of Strode, of course, and decided to stick with the dark hair. Too many blondes there, and I don't want to have to compete for their customers. So I went and bought a box of my hair color of choice (Herbal Essences 44) for a mere $8.00, and redid it to get rid of my roots. I've been coloring my hair for ten years...have only done it three times in a salon, and from my

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1094319637785651122004-09-04T11:31:00.000-07:002004-09-04T10:40:37.786-07:00

...for college. Thought it wasn't going to work out (LONG story), but it did. I am taking Comp 1 (online), Beginning Algebra (at Energy Square campus), and Intro to Theatre (Online). The Theatre instructor lives in Beatrice and works at the Beatrice campus, so the books for the class are not available at the Lincoln SCC bookstore. But I've already arranged to have them ship it through

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1094232445617988012004-09-03T10:26:00.000-07:002004-09-03T10:27:25.616-07:00

I made it through the first night at work, if only just barely. I danced 4 sets...and on my third, I had a panic attack. People I used to know were there, people who really hate me, and I convinced myself they were talking about me and laughing. I am almost sure that they were. Unless I was having auditory hallucinations, which is entirely possible. I had to motion one of my trustworthy

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1094095583870415592004-09-01T20:25:00.000-07:002004-09-01T20:26:23.870-07:00

Today was my 5-year anniversary from going AWOL from the Army. Time fucking flies...

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1094080760960032352004-09-01T16:15:00.000-07:002004-09-01T16:19:20.960-07:00

Go to this post on mc80's blog, and read my comments...we're going back and forth on a couple of things, and I felt like posting here about it because my blood is boiling, but I didn't feel like paraphrasing or copying/pasting, so I thought I'd just include a link.

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1094009683180482042004-08-31T20:32:00.000-07:002004-08-31T20:34:43.180-07:00

I so hate being dicked around! If you tell us you're going to do something, FUCKING DO IT!!! Deadlines are fucking deadlines. The rest of the world can not wait for your lazy ass to decide to get around to it. You are affecting my fucking life. *this is not in any way directed at anyone who reads this blog, by the way*

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093979871170831512004-08-31T12:13:00.000-07:002004-08-31T12:19:19.566-07:00

Last night one of the girls at work said, "What happened to your blonde hair? That was your trademark!" And I thought, "Really? I had a trademark?" Granted, my blonde hair was lovely. It was very, very light, and I loved it. But last night, I saw that several of the girls were blondes, which was a rarity the last time I was there...I guess things have changed. I'm not entirely fond of my red

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093970416533101352004-08-31T09:35:00.000-07:002004-08-31T09:40:47.786-07:00

getting contacts today, so I don't have to be a blind woman at work...I thought I was going to end up killing myself last night at the club! I'm seriously almost legally blind...I can't even read the big E on the eye chart. Eye doctors always say I'm a "prime candidate" for LASIK. Yeah, I'm sure they say that to everyone. Anyhow, I'm not sure if I could stomach it...they do it when you're awake.

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093969669831276722004-08-31T09:23:00.000-07:002004-08-31T09:27:49.830-07:00

my thighs and calves are absolutely killing me...I forgot how great this is for toning up. If 15 minutes makes me so sore I can barely walk, what will 5 hours do on Thursday night?! Actually, it feels good to finally do something healthy. My legs get great when I dance. It's the shoes...

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093969165287034152004-08-31T09:06:00.000-07:002004-08-31T09:20:11.843-07:00

Probably the main reason I love dancing is the music. I absolutely love music, and being paid to listen to whatever I want is a definite perk. When I'm on stage, what relaxes me is just listening to the music and really feeling it. I am not concerned, for the most part, with the customers. If I'm feeling the music, it will definitely show, and the whole set will seem more genuine. People seem to

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093935391730535842004-08-30T23:47:00.000-07:002004-08-30T23:56:31.730-07:00

was SO relaxing. Billy and I burned his Civ III game onto a blank CD and played multi-player from across the room. It was so fun taking an interest in something that he enjoys so much - and I could tell it meant a lot to him, as well. Last night we were sitting on the couch reading...Liam asleep on my chest, Billy sitting on one end of the loveseat, and me sprawled across it, lying down, with my

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093921749598102042004-08-30T20:00:00.000-07:002004-08-30T20:09:09.596-07:00

Well, I knew I would be, because I worked there for 6 months before, and there would be no reason NOT to hire me. But anyway, I start Thursday night. I was amazingly comfortable...it was as if I had never left. My "regulars" remembered me, as did some of the girls, and everyone was very welcoming. One of the girls bought me a Morgan and Coke to calm my nerves...my boss offered me another drink

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093902409406395712004-08-30T14:45:00.000-07:002004-08-30T14:46:49.406-07:00

I audition tonight at 8:00 at my old club...wish me luck, everyone! I'll update afterwards...

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093807259709401712004-08-29T12:19:00.000-07:002004-08-29T12:20:59.710-07:00

...on poetry blog. Anyway, I ran out of old poems so I decided it was time to start writing new ones. It's decent...not great, but certainly decent. Check it out.

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093793214070327192004-08-29T08:24:00.000-07:002004-08-29T10:07:25.110-07:00

Algor wants all you women out there to get on over to his site and take his Cunnilingus Poll...well, the name is pretty self-explanatory, I guess. Anyway, I took it...everyone else should, too (it's females only)...trust me, it's for the greater good of, well, you be the judge... Took me probably 20 minutes to a half hour, you can be as detailed or as vague as you want, but teh more detail you

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093727621712046372004-08-28T14:11:00.000-07:002004-08-28T14:13:41.713-07:00

Some days there just isn't much to say. My mind is a blank slate and I am completely fine with that. I just need to kick back and relax, read a book, and play with my son. Blogger-block is now in full effect; just can't think of a single thing worth mentioning.

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093621542159713142004-08-27T08:30:00.000-07:002004-08-27T08:46:17.946-07:00

So Liam had his 9 month check up this morning and everything was good, nothing to worry about, etc. He's a small little guy but he's staying on the same curve on the growth chart, so it's okay. I weighed myself on the way out...96 pounds with clothes and shoes on...so probably about 92. And I don't look that thin, in the least...so when I was dancing before I got pregnant with Liam, I must've

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093611866977687112004-08-27T05:59:00.000-07:002004-08-27T06:04:57.416-07:00

I was looking at my list of referrers on my counter and had to get a bit nervous when I realized that someone got to me through a Yahoo search on "Herington, KS webpages". See, I never went to my court date in Herington in March of 2000, for my Theft/Criminal Use of a Weapon charges (it sounds much worse than it was, but according to a friend of mine who lived in Herington, the newspapers had

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093538054388475872004-08-26T09:32:00.000-07:002004-08-26T09:34:14.386-07:00

Dave Matthew's Band's tour bus driver dumped 800 pounds of human waste into the Chicago River, and sprayed passengers of a sight-seeing boat. He's being sued, of course, as well he should be. Why in the hell would you dump human waste into the Chicago River? And, does 800 pounds seem like a lot to anyone else?

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093469696696832572004-08-25T14:33:00.000-07:002004-08-25T14:34:56.696-07:00

This is not directed at anyone...this is not meant to offend...it is actually directed at myself in response to my "masculinism" thing...I posted it a few posts below as a comment. Here you go: Blah, blah, blah...feminism has become more negative than positive...masculinism would just go the same route...Jesus, people, why can't we just balance the scales and all agree that EVERYONE should have

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093451982166803142004-08-25T09:38:00.000-07:002004-08-25T09:53:51.246-07:00

I've been struggling with this one a lot, in reference to myself: Does being convicted in your beliefs mean the same thing as being closed-minded? And if not, what is the difference?

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093399794546763252004-08-24T19:04:00.000-07:002004-08-24T19:20:19.136-07:00

This show, Inside The Jury Room, on ABC...basically, the guy killed someone...he said it was self-defense, the state says it was premeditated...and the deliberation in the Jury Room is televised. So, we get to watch them "decide his fate." Okay...is nothing sacred? If the people know that they are being televised, don't you think it would affect the way they deliberate? If you ask me, nothing

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093395074245735252004-08-24T17:40:00.000-07:002004-08-24T17:51:14.246-07:00

I would be absolutely lying if I said that it doesn't bother me that so many people grow to hate me so much of the time. I hate the way I make people hate me. While some people seem almost magnetic, capable of drawing in many people who will soon become friends, I am the opposite. It is as if I am repellant. I drive people away in droves (drive in droves? those words don't sound right together).

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093391763439487522004-08-24T16:49:00.000-07:002004-08-24T16:56:03.440-07:00

Long story...it all began with the soap One Life To Live, and a storyline they have been airing...I posted on the OLTL message board, brought up an issue, and a question was asked...so don't let me forget to post about masculinism/men's rights sometime within the next few days...

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093382560591119712004-08-24T14:21:00.000-07:002004-08-24T14:22:40.590-07:00

I added a new menu to my sidebar...check it out...

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093366351884080812004-08-24T09:51:00.000-07:002004-08-24T10:40:26.516-07:00

Mellie responded to us on her blog. No, not her S & M blog, but her regular blog. Here is what she said: "I'm done. Hands in the air. I'm tired of having to defend my own opinions and being told their wrong. You're pro-life. Fine. But don't you dare fucking tell me how to live MY life. Don't get an abortion. But stay the HELL out of my uterus. Don't tell me I'm a hypocrite because I'm for

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093365400999211022004-08-24T09:31:00.000-07:002004-08-24T09:36:41.000-07:00

In the question, AnnaBanana commented "...but I don't know if casual sex can really even happen and stay casual." I commented in Algor's comments about this...this is what I said (directed toward AnnaBanana): It can. While it may not be desirable to you, I can guarantee you that it is very possible. Here is a breakdown of my sexual relations: 43 Total (6)Boyfriends or my Husband ("

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093361087736207662004-08-24T08:10:00.002-07:002004-08-24T08:24:47.736-07:00

otherwise known as "The View"... The show was on for background noise, and I hear the song "Hit me baby one more time," or whatever the hell it's called...so I look and it is an ANCIENT performance by Britney. Pre-Justin Britney. She was 17. She looked so different that I thought it was a Britney impersonator at first (amazing what a little extra cash will do for a person's appearance). So she

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093306994160493882004-08-23T17:23:00.000-07:002004-08-23T20:13:05.883-07:00

Yes, that's the name of a blog I came across "blog-surfing." Too bad they're not referring to me... Still, I'm flattered... If they WERE referring to me, I would have to say, that would be a pretty fucking great compliment...being essential to a person's sanity?! Hell yeah, I could go for that... Uneventful blog, though...I wouldn't even bother if I were you...

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093294613967211672004-08-23T13:54:00.000-07:002004-08-23T13:57:37.360-07:00

Am I the only person who finds it painful/laughable/embarassing to watch Jessica Simpson sing? The way she does those jerky movements, and the weird hand motions, and deep-throats the microphone, yet all that comes out is some breathy noises that don't resemble singing in any culture that I can name... It's one of those things that makes me embarassed FOR her, and I have to turn my head to keep

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093281178412976062004-08-23T10:12:00.000-07:002004-08-23T17:25:43.426-07:00

Interesting... Russia's version of the National Enquirer?

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093280374495094992004-08-23T09:59:00.000-07:002004-08-23T17:25:00.910-07:00

Ever read a newspaper from Moscow? If not, here's your opportunity... The following are a few srories of interest that I found from Mosnews.com Boy Raised by Dog Found in South Siberia Monument to the Potato Erected in North Russia Turkmen Leader Orders People to Stop Chewing Chicken Crap Russian Museum to Exhibit Rasputin's Penis Rafting Tournament on Sex Dolls in North Russia Russian

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093278731175170002004-08-23T09:30:00.000-07:002004-08-23T09:32:11.176-07:00

I would just like to add that,when drunk or otherwise chemically impaired, I DO like affection...love it, in fact...just not in my normal, sober life (except where my child is concerned...I give him so much affection he doesn't know what to do with it!)

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093278406824552422004-08-23T09:24:00.000-07:002004-08-23T09:33:03.906-07:00

I tried to post this as a comment in response to your last comment under my "Jane on intimacy" post. It didn't seem to work, so I'll just post it here... I don't think I ever said anything about being "disconnected" - I am not going to sleep with a person who I feel no connection to, at at least SOME level. I can remember something positive about every person I've ever been with...not

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093183357933544922004-08-22T07:01:00.000-07:002004-08-22T07:02:37.933-07:00

Seems blogger is in fuck-up mode this morning...disappearing comments, etc. So if things get confusing...blame it on them, not me!

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093117038295533382004-08-21T12:35:00.000-07:002004-08-21T12:37:18.296-07:00

The theme song from The Breakfast Club is stuck in my head, repeating over and over, forcing me to hum along... And, I have an intense craving for avocadoes. Yes, these are two unrelated topics...I think.

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093116539628471842004-08-21T12:26:00.000-07:002004-08-21T12:28:59.626-07:00

My friend LJ and I were talking once and I admitted I had a crush on Trent from Daria. He then admitted to thinking Jessica Rabbit was pretty hot. Finally, we both had to admit to Ariel, from The Little Mermaid. Are we freaks of nature? These aren't fucking people!

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093116297063557032004-08-21T12:23:00.000-07:002004-08-21T12:29:44.360-07:00

Is it weird to have a crush on someone you've never met or seen photos of? A crush based solely on their blog personality, basically? Does anyone besides me have a blogger crush? No need to mention names...I'm not going to!

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093114961182159462004-08-21T12:02:00.000-07:002004-08-21T12:06:00.626-07:00

Scene Five: Setting: Jason, Dave, Billy, and I are sitting at the bar, all in a row, drinking beers. Besides us, the bar is empty. Jane: (laughs) Billy: What's so funny? Jane: I've slept with every guy sitting at this bar. Jason: (smiles and giggles) Dave: (looks horrified) Billy: (shakes his head and laughs)

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093114756930084142004-08-21T11:57:00.000-07:002004-08-21T12:03:09.226-07:00

Scene Four: Jason Setting: We are at the bar that Jason and Billy both work at. It is February, 2003. I'm having a beer with Jason (you can see a photo of him on my photo blog...he's the guy in the mug shot with the piercing eyes). Jason: Do you think the new waitress is hot? Jane: Becky? Sure, she's okay. Why, you gonna try to fuck her? Jason: (laughs) No. I want to take her out. Jane:

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093114233657671832004-08-21T11:49:00.000-07:002004-08-21T12:39:23.630-07:00

Dave Setting: The strip club we both work at. I'm a dancer, he is a door guy. Also a former Husker football player (blah!). It's Valentine's Day, 2003. Dave: Hey, you never called. Jane: Why? Was I supposed to? Dave: Well, we slept together. And I gave you my number. Jane: So? A lot of people give me their numbers. You never said I had to call. Dave: Well, do you need a ride home tonight?

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093113902182603722004-08-21T11:44:00.000-07:002004-08-21T11:45:02.183-07:00

Chris Setting: February 2003, my boyfriend Justin's house. Chris is Justin's best friend. Chris: You see, I could never date someone like you. You have no class. Jane: What do you mean? Chris: I want someone I can wine and dine, take to Vincenzo's. Someone who will appreciate it. Jane: I would appreciate it. I just don't see it as a requirement for a sexual relationship. Chris: You'd be

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093113598777940492004-08-21T11:37:00.000-07:002004-08-21T12:40:37.386-07:00

Here is the first in a series of scenes that have taken place in the life of Jane: Mick Rowe Setting: We are parked in his car at Holmes Lake. It is December, 1998. I am 16, Mick is 20. Mick: I can't. Jane: Why not? Isn't that why you brought me here? Mick: I didn't know you were a virgin. It's too much of a responsibility. Jane: No, it's really not. I'm just using you. You don't have to

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093111116664175642004-08-21T11:00:00.000-07:002004-08-21T12:43:14.856-07:00

First, let me use my disclaimer: None of this has anything to do with Billy - it's just the way I am and have always been... I have never been one who has the capability of intimacy. And I have never understood the point of foreplay. Yeah, sometimes it's okay, I guess, but only in very rare instances...otherwise, it's just like, "Okay, can we get to the point, already?" If a guy would caress my

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093107276787457082004-08-21T09:53:00.000-07:002004-08-21T10:13:14.363-07:00

Hole, Live Through This. Love it! And yes, I was that stripper. The one who drove the customers away with my angry women's music...then said, "I don't give a fuck! I wanted to listen to Hole!" I guess the lyrics, "Every time that I sell myself to you, I feel a little bit cheaper than I used to," and "I fake it so real I am beyond fake," aren't conducive to tipping... Whatever. I had fun.

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093106599727519992004-08-21T09:26:00.000-07:002004-08-21T11:17:10.100-07:00

Yesterday at my orientation, Mary told us that if we want to get involved in the decisions affecting our college, we should sign up for Student Senate. She said that they need representatives from every program, whether it be Academic Transfer, Fire Protection, Nursing, or Truck Driving (and the list goes on and on). She also said, "There are special events going on every week, whether they be

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093081048910941722004-08-21T02:33:00.000-07:002004-08-21T02:37:28.910-07:00

Today it's an excerpt from a poem called "Apprehensions," taken from The Collected Poems by Sylvia Plath: Apprehensions There is this white wall, above which the sky creates itself - Infinite, green, utterly untouchable. Angels swim in it, and the stars, in indifference also. They are my medium. The sun dissolves on this wall, bleeding its lights. A gray wall now, clawed and bloody. Is there

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093079610254330692004-08-21T02:08:00.000-07:002004-08-21T02:30:36.853-07:00

My "free Jewel concert" in Golden Gate Park, which served as background noise for me and Tim procreating against a tree on Punker Hill, really did exist, and now has a concrete date (looked it up just to find out what day of the week it was - it was a Sunday). Only thing is - it wasn't free! Don't know how I got that idea - it seems to me the fliers promoted it that way. It was the Now & Zen Fest

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093025282602633502004-08-20T10:59:00.000-07:002004-08-20T11:09:58.443-07:00

Uneventful. Boring. Of course I already knew everything they told us, but it is mandatory to attend orientation before I can register for classes (which happens in about a week and a half). I started becoming anxious so I took my pencil and filled in the white space on the cover of the Student Handbook. I accidentally rolled my pencil to the edge of the table, twice, and had to catch it before it

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1093008317966987922004-08-20T06:20:00.000-07:002004-08-20T06:25:17.966-07:00

Writing has been going very well. It is so exciting to see what was basically a summary transform into actual scenes. I keep remembering more as I write it down. It seems to flow pretty naturally. I'm actually in the process of writing right now, just taking a break to get up a post. Hopefully Liam will let me write quite a bit throughout the day...I do have to go to orientation at SCC this

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1092929855183883402004-08-19T08:31:00.000-07:002004-08-19T08:37:35.183-07:00

Why is it that I feel the need to write this book? Why do I need to get these kids' stories out? Is it because I feel guilt? Guilt. The guilt of knowing that I went to the ATM machine on October 1st, that I withdrew my $500+ dollars that the Army had direct-deposited, that I bought new clothes and new shoes, that I ran into Tim on the street and said, "I'm going home," that I didn't say, "Come on

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1092925620863401832004-08-19T07:24:00.000-07:002004-08-20T06:26:50.343-07:00

All these years I thought it was called Papaguyo's Pizza, and it was actually called Papadoro. Anyway, if you're ever in SF, grab a slice...I, personally, have to vote it the best pizza in the US. Sorry, Billy...it even beats New Jersey... Maybe it's just because it's the first "real" pizza I ever tasted...

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1092923941808208612004-08-19T06:53:00.000-07:002004-08-19T07:11:23.353-07:00

This date has long since been my least favorite day of any given year (since 1999, actually). It is a day that changed my life, perhaps for better, perhaps for worse, but I always tend to get queasy when it rolls around...5 years passes so quickly. I wonder where everyone is, I wonder if they are all happy, I wonder if they have moved on to careers and families, and I wonder if they remember. And

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1092916265569798892004-08-19T04:45:00.000-07:002004-08-19T04:51:05.576-07:00

Today's passage is from Vanity of Duluoz by (who else?) Jack Kerouac: I ran with horror from home to "them" and then from "them" to home but both equally dark and inhospitable places of guilt, sin, sorrow, lamentation, despair. It wasn't so much the darkness of the night that bothered me but the horrible lights men had invented to illuminate their darkness with . . . I mean the very streetlamp

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1092876978027273882004-08-18T17:54:00.000-07:002004-08-18T17:57:40.693-07:00

...and there was a woman standing on the corner across the street. She was wearing tight jeans and a black bra. Not a sports bra, even. Just a bra. Her hair was ratted out and hairsprayed, and she wore bright red lipstick, clumsily applied. She looked worn out and washed up...a walking billboard for skin cancer awareness. I thought to myself, "I wonder if she is a prostitute." I have seen several

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1092837875009584142004-08-18T07:05:00.000-07:002004-08-18T07:37:43.686-07:00

We all went to bed at a normal hour last night and got plenty of sleep. I woke up at 6:00 this morning, Billy at 7:00, and Liam about 8:15. I think we all feel a lot better. Billy and I did some morning cleaning, and he is now editing his paper for Composition class. Liam is in an especially cheerful mood this morning, as well. The sleep really did us a lot of good. Here are a couple of pictures

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6958982.post-1092802955254075332004-08-17T21:20:00.000-07:002004-08-17T21:22:35.253-07:00

Ssshhh...It's not August 18 yet...About 40 minutes to go...Don't tell anyone. From The Subterraneans by Jack Kerouac: "And soon enough I'd learn she had no belief and had had no place to get it from..."

Layla/Jane (whichever you prefer)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03219913917438768566noreply@blogger.com0